Bosses are Like Dogs...

Bosses are like dogs. There are hundreds of breeds of bosses who come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They can be male or female, have short hair or long hair, some shed and some don't, some bark and some whine, some have behavioral disorders, and they all like to be petted, but not all of them are housebroken. Some chase their tails round-and-round in manic circles, others are rigidly disciplined and well trained, some leave a big dump on your desk and others like to leave little sprinkles. Some chew up your stuff and leave it lying in ruined heaps of masticated pulp, and others steal your stuff and - the next thing you know - they're holding it down with one paw like it was theirs to begin with.

You have your alpha boss and your underdog boss. Some bosses like to let you know they're the boss right off the bat. No messin' around, they're aggressive and loud, they interrupt you when you're talking, they show up late without apology, they tell you they think you stink, they yell at you in front of other people, and they're - well - bossy.

Like my dog Sundance. He's a big, beautiful Golden Retriever who probably wasn't socialized enough as a pup, and when we take him for a walk and he sees another dog, he likes to let that other dog know right away who's boss. He strains against the leash, his tail goes straight up, he barks a lot of big, nasty loud barks, and then he tries to charge at the other dog. When things settle down a little, he sniffs the other dog's butt to see if it's got the right stuff and, if it does, he humps it.

Other bosses like to let you think you're the boss, and then they step in at the last minute and take charge. Like my other Golden, Cody. When Sundance wants to play, he's friendly and happy and jumps around and rolls on the floor in front of Cody to convince her that - really - she can trust him to play nice, and he promises he won't jump on her or hump her or otherwise publicly disgrace her (sounds like that other kind of boss again). But then, finally, Sundance can't help himself and he does jump and hump and embarrass her, and Cody has to let him know that - BARK! - he's had his fun, she's really in charge, he's annoying, and he'd better get himself together before she's forced to take control again.

Interviewing with a potential new boss is like adopting a new puppy. Whether you're at the shelter or in the park, at the puppy store or looking into a cardboard box in front of the supermarket, you're trying to pick the pup that best matches your fantasy of the perfect, unconditionally loving companion; but just like a prospective new boss, that pup really just wants to sniff your butt to see if you've got the right humpable stuff.

And don't even get me started on the hound dog boss or the bitch in heat.

I'm a boss. I like to think I'm the lead bitch. You know, like on a team of sled dogs. I like to think that I lead by example, pull my own weight, help others pull theirs, and that my team trusts me to steadily guide them to victory through the snowstorm in a long, fast race of speed and endurance. Ruff!

I've had bosses that I learned from because they did the right things that were good for their people and good for their business. I've had bosses I learned from because they did the wrong things and I saw what it did to their people and their business. I've seen a junkyard dog turn into a sweet, loving, obedient pet. But I've never seen a bad boss turn into a good one (except Ebenezer Scrooge - and c'mon - it was still all about him! And he didn't even have a dog!)

So what's your boss dog story? Or are you the boss? Or if you can't stand another dog analogy, just tell me a story about your best boss - or your worst boss. Send stories, pictures, drawings, video, whatever - and maybe I'll write a Boss Book. Or a Dog Digest. Or a Dog Boss Dibook.

Thanks.
- Lead Bitch Boss
(aka Grace)

Who is this Guy Anyway?!

Really, this guy is getting on my nerves. Adam Glassman is O Magazine's creative director, and has established himself as the guy who should be telling we women what we should and should not be caught dead wearing. When it comes to figure-flattering clothing selections, he knows what he's talking about. But when it comes to deciding which of a female's anatomical parts are particularly offensive and inappropriate for public viewing after a certain age, who is he to decide?!
Now, as you know, I'm a huge fan of Oprah and her magazine. I have been a subscriber since the very first issue and avidly read the magazine cover-to-cover every month. Sometimes I disagree with viewpoints posed in some of the articles, but I find myself agreeing more often than not - and am nearly always enlightened and informed.
But Glassman - he's starting to piss me off! Last month, Glassman said women of a certain age shouldn't bare their arms. This month, he says, "Shorts on adult women in general are ghastly". So, according to Glassman, we should apparently be covered head-to-toe, regardless of the weather and/or activity in which we're engaged. Will a burkha be next?!
Look: I am a woman of that certain age. I like to go sleeveless when weather permits (or I'm just too darn hot to do anything else!). And trust me when I say my arms are not of the sculpted variety. I like to wear skirts without stockings. I like to wear shorts with flip-flops. My legs are strong, but they certainly don't belong to a 30-year-old! I am not a slob, but I do like to be comfortable. Fashionable even.
So lay off, Adam. If you don't like the sight of bare arms or legs on a woman of a certain age, turn your head. There are plenty of men who do like it. And more importantly: I like it!
- Grace

Radio for Women!

I had never heard of Greenstone Media, but got a call when they wanted to interview me regarding the industry I'm in.
Turns out, GreenStone Media™ puts a whole new face on talk programming on-air, online, and nationwide - especially for women! Starting with a superstar roster of talent, managers, and stakeholders who came together, drawn by word-of-mouth, they created a growing number of interactive programs on more and more terrestrial radio stations and developed a growing online community. (Among the luminaries: Gloria Steinem, founder of Ms. Magazine, actor Jane Fonda, FCC commissioner Susan Ness, and broadcast visionary Edie Hilliard, to name just a few.) http://www.greenstonemedia.com/.
Anyway, I was thrilled! Lucky me, I would be on the show with Lisa Birnbach, http://greenstonemedia.com/lisabirnbach.php, Queen of the Airwaves and recent winner of - not one, but two! - Gracie Awards.
I was pretty nervous, since I had never done a radio interview before (only a little television news and print media), but Lisa was gracious and professional and guided our on-air discussion perfectly. I had prepared the message that I wanted to send - part of which had to do with the ever-increasing number of women in this particular industry - and hoped I was prepared for all the things she might want to talk about. I was on the air with Lisa for all of ten minutes - that felt like 10 seconds - and before I knew it, it was over, and she was inviting me back to the show!
Anyway, check out Lisa's show - and the Radio Ritas (love them!) - you are gonna love it!
- Grace

Mary Lou Quinlan - My Hero(ine)!

Speaking of magazines (as I did in my last post), one of my favorite columnists - and entrepreneurial businesswomen - is Mary Lou Quinlan. I love her monthly column in More Magazine. In the July/August 2007 edition, she posed the following: "At last you've achieved a long-dreamed-of career goal. Are you happy yet? Is your dream job everything you hoped it would be, or was the journey more fun than the reward? Now that you're playing for bigger stakes, what's your idea of winning? Write to marylou@justaskawoman.com."
So I did. This is what I said:

"Is that all there is?", to quote the song, would sum up how I felt about finally achieving my career goal: vice president of marketing for a large New York entertainment agency. See, I'm a gal without a college education whose first real job (not counting my brief stint selling chicken for The Colonel) was as a receptionist for a small real estate company near San Diego. So it was no small feat that I managed to go from there to, eventually, a position as a licensing executive at the Walt Disney Company in Burbank, and then on to this glamorous life in New York.
I flew first class, stayed at the finest hotels and dined at the finest restaurants, traveled to Europe, wore designer clothes, regularly met and mingled with celebrities, used a limo service to get almost anywhere - and (poor me!) I was tired all the time, stressed out every minute, paid way too much rent, and constantly fantasized about getting out of the big city and back to a simpler, less stressful life.
And I eventually did that. I left New York, moved back to my home town near Seattle, Washington, and thought I'd try my hand at something else. I told myself I didn't need to make much money, that it didn't really matter what I did - just that I enjoyed my work and still had time for a life.
But here's the catch: apparently I'm not happy unless I'm the boss. I don't like the additional stress and responsibility of being the boss, but - never having been much good at following - I apparently must lead.
So now I co-lead a $17 million dot-com company in Seattle, I ferry to and from my waterfront home on Vashon Island while complaining about the commute, and I constantly fantasize about having time - time to spend with my husband, family and friends, to putter around the house and in the garden, and to sing.
Hunh. Apparently, my career goal now is to not have a career at all....?!!"

And guess what?! Mary Lou Quinlan. . . my hero . . . WROTE BACK! . . . Here's what she said:
"Grace ...loved your answer. And hearing about your current job, I know that many women would say, "If only..." without realizing the price of such pressure. Will get back to you if the editors decide to go with a column on this subject...thanks and good luck on the never-ending journey of work/life/oh yes and sleep! my best, Mary Lou"

I'll let you know if I hear from her again.

Magazines Magazines Everywhere But Not the Time to Read!

Magazines
I couldn't keep up with all the magazines that kept flooding my mailboxes here at home and at the office, so I decided to winnow it down. It wasn't easy, but I based my selection process on the magazines I actually wanted to read cover-to-cover every month. So I ended up selecting two "personal life" magazines and three "business life" magazines.

Notice how I keep my two lives separate? That's for another blog entry, but suffice it to say that I don't like my two lives intertwining because it ends up feeling like I have no personal life at all and believe me when I tell you that my personal life gets short shrift enough already!

So my business life magazines are Fortune and Business 2.0 - plus one magazine specific to the industry I'm currently in. Between them, I get lots of insight into how best to run, manage and finance a business. I also read lots of stories about people who have fabulous ideas, risk everything, work their asses off, and end up creating a multi-million dollar business that goes straight to IPO and leaves them rich and looking for a way to launch their next multi-million dollar business or product idea.

First of all, let me just be perfectly clear. If I'm ever lucky, clever, industrious and/or brilliant enough to create a multi-million dollar business that goes straight to IPO and leaves me rich - you won't catch me spending one cent of that money on another big business idea! Really, I don't understand those people. It's like when people who win the $500 million dollar lottery keep buying scratch-off tickets. Why?! They''ve already won the Big Jackpot - leave some for the rest of us, you selfish bastards! Believe me: if I ever win the Big Business Jackpot, I won't spend even one more minute in the office, in a meeting or on a conference call! I won't write one more business plan or create one more blue-sky budget or blow smoke up even one more investor's smoke hole. No! I'm done! I will selflessly take those millions and buy an island somewhere and live happily ever after - and give the rest of you a chance!

But since I'm a long way from winning the Big Business Jackpot, of course, I still read the magazines, believing in my heart of hearts that the next article will show me The Way to Big Business Riches ...

As for my personal life, it's very simple really. I subscribe to O Magazine and More. What else could I possibly need? Oh, and let's be honest. I also buy In Style - but that's not really reading. It' s more like Playboy used to be for men. I look at the pictures - I don't really read the articles.

Throughout the ups and downs of my own life, I have read articles in O that inspired me to take a deep breath, say a prayer of gratitude for all that I have and all that I am, and believed in my heart that, if Oprah can do it - well, damnit, I can too! In More magazine, I am constantly inspired by the strong and independent women who have found new life as they turn 40 or 50 or 60 or 70! Of course, the downside is that, at 50, I feel I should have found my new life by now - you know, working at something I love, with plenty of free, grace-filled time on my hands to hike the Himalayas and climb Mt. Everest or something. And even though I have absolutely no desire to climb more than the stairs in my house, I still feel that I have yet to find my calling, that time is running out, and that I'm definitely missing something, but have no way of finding out what that is.

Which is why I keep reading these magazines, believing in my heart of hearts that the next article will show me The Way to A Richer, More Fulfilling Life ...

Believe me: when I get there, I'll let you know!